Till We Make It Over the Rainbow
By Sharon Arnolda
To be alive amid a global pandemic is the biggest flex and blessing of every human being alive right now; and while some of us make it, some of us won’t. The pandemic has slowly but surely hit closer home; it’s the people we know and moves around with who are dying. And while it seems like a flex to be alive right now the flip side is that some of us will eventually be the ones left behind; the ones who made it.
The pandemic situation has brought on a feeling of ‘survivor’s guilt’ the world over, especially when it comes to those that have successfully healed from the disease. Some of us have friends who were at the same bar and got infected with us but couldn’t make it as we did; some of us are the very people that spread the sickness to the people who didn’t make it. Either way, being alive right now is starting to feel pretty bleak.
It’s not fun when you are living through the cosmic recreation of the bird box right? The thing about life is that it goes on; it just has to. We are eventually going to have to move past whatever damage this pandemic will leave us dealing with and currently it’s costing us the very lives of the people we love. This article explores practical ways to grieve and get over the loss of a loved one; First things first; it’s best to know that sometimes things are beyond your control and that there is nothing that can be done to change what has to happen; unless you intentionally got someone sick, it’s just shitty timing.
Having said that; this is also why it’s absolutely important to make sure health guidelines are thoroughly followed; we are living on a small island and the country can’t afford to go through another lockdown but as citizens, we could start using our brains.
It’s important to realise that everyone deals with death differently; while some of us may cry and throw a tantrum the rest of us may choose to internalise the pain, whatever the process is, it’s important to understand that dealing with death is a personal journey and it’s redundant to compare how you are handling it to how others are. Take your time; do your thing and make peace with the loss.
Booze isn’t going to help; one of the easiest things to do when someone passes is to ‘drown our sorrows, but the plain truth is that you’re just making life worse for yourself and everyone around you. It’s important to understand that someone’s passing will also have an impact on others and that by being the one who recklessly drinks their sorrows away, you will also be adding on to the grief of another person while also doing little to nothing to deal with your loss.
Appreciate the good times and memories; the truth is, we are all going to die one day and all we will leave behind are the memories we shared. The time of grieving is a good time to look back at those times with appreciation. Something I’ve done personally is to try and learn something that will live on from those memories, it can be a life lesson, a recipe, or even a funny word; it keeps the person alive in your heart.
It’s okay to be vulnerable; crying is not a sign of weakness, regardless of gender or age. It’s healthy to cry and talk about the memories and things that bother you concerning the situation. Bottling up your emotions just to appear strong is thankfully a thing of the past and hopefully would stay there for the rest of eternity. It’s also important to remember that it is okay to ask our friends and family for help and also take any help that is offered. It’s important to have those you love around you and it’s not a burden when they are your friends.
But most importantly; it’s a time to learn a lesson about life. The death of a loved one has always been a call to re-evaluate my life; I strongly believe there is a lesson to be learned from every life that has ever been lived, no matter how insignificant they may seem to society. The end of it should ideally be where the lesson begins for those of us that are left behind.