This is Going to Upset Some of You
By Aunty D Ceylon Today Features
Have you ever stood in a room and had to explain why your dad’s name is saved as his name and not dad, or why you don’t really talk much to your parents or why your relationship with them is strained. Or any of the other million things people ask you when you make any sort of inclination that you just don’t like your parents.
And why is that?
I suppose we are to be grateful to them for giving us life, and in some occasions giving us an education and a place to live and keeping us alive for as long as they did. But hear me out; as much as we need to be grateful for that, we also need to understand that it is what they signed up for. None of us were pressuring our parents to give birth to us from the ‘great beyond’ or wherever you believe you are from, it was a conscious (hopefully) decision made to conceive a child and to give the child a basic upbringing and a good life. Every child is born deserving of this; let’s get that clear.
Why would a child dislike their parents?
Well, in my experience the only people I know who stay away from their parents have reason to. Some parents do unspeakable things to their children and then sweep it under the carpet or don’t acknowledge the damage that has done. They refuse to talk about it and society and the pressure put on children to ‘always respect their parents no matter what’ leaves children who went through absolute abuse in the hands of their parents having to ‘show respect’ to them.
Why should you keep your mouth shut?
Besides the obvious reason that you shouldn’t force your opinions on others, there’s also the fact that some people have been through things because of their parents that they can’t really talk openly about. We unfortunately live in a world where parents physically, emotionally and sexually abuse their own children. The statistics are crazy and most of these things go unreported, especially in the ‘middle class’; the chances of us moving with people who have been through similar experiences are really high. So just because you strongly believe that ‘disrespecting or disconnecting’ from your parents is a sin or unethical, in some instances it may be absolutely necessary for a person’s emotional well-being.
I think society should come to a place of being willing to see things for what they really are. The current generation is finally starting to put an end to the redundant system of respecting undeserving people simply because they are older than us. And no, the opposite of respect shouldn’t be disrespect in this instance but the ability to politely avoid people and situations that disturb a person’s inner peace; whatever or whoever that may be. Just think about it.