Dear Sri Lanka,

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Given the crippling state of affairs in the country, the Minister of Everything along with his Party has launched the ‘SLPP Academy for Political Excellence’! 

As he excitedly shares news of what he calls a ‘historic event’ of an academy he seems to have titled off the first Google search he got, replacing a word here and there and then adding some others to brand it as his Party’s own ‘service’ to the nation, let’s all stand up to sing their anthem ‘here we go again’, shall we?

If you thought this was aimed at all politicians including himself, given how terribly they fared in their job, especially in the last few months, you are mistaken – it’s far from it.

In an attempt to revive his own rotten brand of political dominance that fell from the upper realms of grace, straight onto burial grounds that almost destroyed them alive, they have apparently launched this academy with the aim of, “Empowering politically conscious citizens with better knowledge and skills.”

Talk about self-un-awareness and shamelessness if you will! Imagine having to learn from the same party that lost ruling powers in the most humiliating way because of their horrendous political skills and mismanagement, among a list of other problematic behaviour, where the then Prime Minister and then Head of State felt like they were forced into hiding before and after giving up their positions to subsequently jet off to safety. Unless their modules contain lessons of ‘what not to do in power’, all they will achieve is unnecessary wastage of paper, other resources and our time, because of course there nothing good that can come out of this.

If you are confused as to how he thinks he has the solution to the real problem, and that we’ll buy whatever it is that he is trying to sell in the name of knowledge and solutions, it safe to say we all are equally flummoxed. He is essentially trying to bridge an imaginary gap on a perfectly functioning straight road while the real disconnection lies elsewhere. But then again, what is new about him and his Party being unaware of the real hardships of the people. Their only constant effort is to pull out a shiny trick from their box of gimmicks to fool us into thinking they are doing something for the people. But even that is so lackadaisically done that we smell their malicious intents from half a moon away.

In fact, most of us are having second-hand embarrassment just looking at their cheap attempts to make themselves relevant again. However, I’m betting no money on a zero-turnout to this academy even if the Prince of Corruption heads the academy himself and teaches full-time to impart his alleged knowledge on the subject. Given that some people still live and breathe their name, I have trust issues with those who have political amnesia who seem to have it as much as the politicians do. Thus, it wouldn’t be completely surprising to see many people line up to enrol at this school even if they were part of the majority who clogged the streets to protest just a few months ago, telling him and his party to go home.

That being said, I find a line by Abraham Lincoln to be apt. “You may fool people for a time; you can fool a part of the people all the time; but you can’t fool all the people all the time.”

Sincerely,
#jokersville

By Dilshani Palugaswewa